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Stillness
Beneath the random noise
Constant confusion
Constant pain
Stillness
Within the soul
Holding the world at bay
Stillness
The head spinning
The brain aching
Confusion reigns
Stillness
Remains
Simply
There
I am. Gus is Fern-ing.
Formless into form. And return. Like waves of the sea or clouds in the sky – formed yet formless. We come from (are) formless, form is part of illusion of separation
Judgement opens the floodgates of ego.
Ego judging, driven, striving. Ego-less allowing, accepting, embracing.
Shifting into the new/old, releasing the familiar, the ego, the struggle, the needs and wants. The critical, the lacking, the fundamental need to prove worthiness, value.
Attachment to the old way of proving worth, not bothering Gus or others instead supplementing the lack with activity, of constant doing, striving, the call familiar, the default to the known – however ineffective it may have been in the course of my journey.
The loud voice of the ego, the “separated self” that dominates so easily. The quiet whisper of the higher self, the gentle knowing that awaits the calm moment to be heard, the space between thoughts, between breaths. The heart filling with joy and warmth, comfort and peace in the embrace with stillness, with oneness.
Connection with spirit, with God, with all. The dropping to the heart where all is love and I can look beyond the humanness to see the truth of being.
The allowing, the letting go, the surrender of self, of the ego which clings so well, convincingly, justifying so, vocally.
Replaced with the gentle, the recognition of flow, the ease of surrendering to the now, the is-ness. Moment to moment acceptance, then moment to moment again. And again. And again. Feeling into what is, knowing the rightness of every moment however it appears, every emotion, every occurence. The connection, oh, the connection with all, underlying the obvious, the “reality”
Deeply accepting. In the moment. Then forgetting. Then revisiting the accepting, each time looking to extend the surrender to is-ness. The Is As It Is. Then old habits resuming, imposing. The acceptance and surrender still new and irregularly recognised and embraced, “reality” dissuading the spiritual knowingness into becoming new habits, new way of living, the way of Being in Spirit Now.
Each drawing, each painting, each creation
Is a construct
Into being.
Art, like life, is neither good
Nor bad.
It simply Is
It exists.
As Beings, we take it a step further
To experience
Intensely
The separation providing more
To feel. So much.
Yet every living thing experiences
That is the purpose of Being
In form.
We humans
are simply more conscious of it
In a judging way
Based on expectations.
All judgement
Draws from expectations
Intertwining
That led to moment.
This moment,
Of judgement, of disappoint, of loss
Of isolation, reinforced by all previous.
Of love, of excitement, of happiness
Of joy. In brief moments.
In longer moments.
Neither experiences bad
Nor good.
Simply experiences.
Learnings.
Like art, an expression
Each individual to itself.
Beginnings.
Endings.
Neither exists
Really
They are simply experiences that feel
That way.
Life is experiences
Like art, each experience
Is neither good nor bad
Simply Different
Simply
Interesting
And then from form
From life
From
Experiences
We return to formlessness
Oneness, Always
Alway-ness.
Life lives me
I, simply
A third party,
The witness
Experiencing.
Faith is looking beyond the circumstance of today and trusting that God’s plan for you supersedes anything you could imagine. It’s not happening to you, it’s happening for you.
Say “ I don’t know how to be with this (pain/sadness/frustration/lost/ despair), I don’t know how…”. And honour that.
Allow
All visitors (thoughts, perceptions, sensations) are welcome
(Don’t invite them to tea.)
Allow. Experience. Honour.
No resistance
Full acceptance
In the moment
Being Aware of Being Aware
Shift from movie (drama) to Being the Screen
Notice the space
Notice the I that is always
I am Awareness
My spiritual teacher said the ultimate goal of being in form is not death.
Rather, it is unconditional acceptance of the Present Moment. The Present Moment being complete, whole and perfect – regardless of what it contains (pain, anger, frustration, fear, joy, laughter and so on).
To fully Accept the Present Moment is to fully embrace the experience of What Is.
What Is in the Present Moment.
In other words, be in love with the Experience, to breathe in. To unconditionally accept the Present Moment. Before coming into form, we choose the experiences that our life contains. So every moment is full with the experience of being in form. So how can it be wrong? How can we not love the present moment?
Being in form is to Experience. And, in fully Accepting What Is and loving the Present Moment, is to live in trust and faith, handing all over to Source other than the practical, even that too at times can be handed over.
Sitting on my rock, living fully in Not Knowing. Handing all over and loving Being, loving the Present Moment. Coming back to the breath, coming back to the Experience and all That Is.
16 Sept 23
The Present Moment
The Present Moment has its own integrity. It is not void of impulse.
The Present Moment knows what to do with me.
I don’t have to know what to do with the Present Moment.
The Present Moment is Whole, Complete and Perfect.
Despite what the Present Moment holds (pain, difficulty, joy), once the truth
is known, how can one not be in love with the Present Moment.
The Present Moment is not a concept. It is Experience.
Ask – what is this Moment? What is it telling me, what is it showing me?
How can I be faithful and honest to this Moment?
Sit with that knowingness of the wholeness and completion of this Present
Moment – that it contains everything required. Everything that is needed for
me, within of it – that’s when we arrive at that place of deep, deep profound
peace.
That deep and profound peace is really the clearest indication that ultimately
I am on track.
Every Moment is perfect, whole and complete.
10 Jan 2024
The only permanence
Is change
All is transient
And enduring.
The rain falls
A bird song fades away
Summer is over
Heavy rain falls, constantly
A bird sings
Silence
Pecking at the fruit
In the rain
Oh!
Gone.
The body aches
The heart struggles
Complete surrender
The body suffers
Then recovers
To repeat, yet in a new way
Then recovers
Confusing.
Another very hot
humid summer day
Sitting to meditate
under the shade
of a favourite tree
It doesn’t take long these
days to simply drop ‘self’
Sitting was no
longer sitting
It was simply Being
Being outside, there
were no walls, doors
or windows to drop off
Simply the earth
as the Zafu
Infinite Sky as
roofless roof
At some point
the clouds left
The sky was
cerulean blue
Then darkest night
with stars like fireflies
scattered amongst
the heavens
Some colored leaves
began falling about
the form left behind
Winds blew across
from all ten directions
All of this was just
barely noticed in
just the subtlest of
sublime sensations
After an indeterminable
period of timelessness
There was a cool sensation
that was emanating
throughout the form
left so very far behind
Gradually formlessness
returned to form, still under
the shade of the cool tree
One slight but profound
difference was noticed
The hot humid weather
had been considerably
cooled under the tree
There were now icicles
dripping down the back
cooling right to core
A quick glimpse
at the watch
It said as it always does
The time is simply Now
Know that I will be around. Know that I’ll be watching and caring, listening and supporting. Know that I was and am happy. Fern x