Eulogy and Closing

As a young child, I didn’t like dolls. I loved pieces of lace, beautiful fabrics and ribbon. Growing up at Mt Maunganui beach, I ran down the path to the sea everyday. Even as a littlee when mum was dressing me, I’d disappear. She’d find me on the beach – trying to fly – a piece of fabric streaming behind me.
My brothers called me Wernie as I couldn’t pronounce the F. My sister and I were late comers to our parents and grew up closely. My parents instilled strong values and ethics, they were intelligent, remarkable people in their own right.

I am told I was a live wire as a baby. That didn’t change much. Always busy learning everything, always keen to try something new. Yet, I kept to myself, and enjoying the restfulness of my own company.
My highest value was Beauty.
Beauty in all things, of nature, of form, of design, of presentation, of language. I loved poetry, I loved words, the beauty of the English language instilled in me from both parents.

I loved learning. Anything and everything. But disliked school, the protocol and the pedantic process. Books were my teachers throughout my life.
My innate curiosity caused me to seek knowledge constantly, new experiences, explore constantly, a researcher and sponge for knowledge. I was a trekkie, a whovian, a futurist. I learnt ballet, navigated in rallies, parachuted out of a plane , modelled – won Miss Tauranga one year- and taught modelling. I paddleboarded, I surf skied, I cycled, mountain biked and loved bush walks. I loved to run, from an early age and throughout my life. I loved to learn, to try new things. A long term passion – fencing – was coming to realisation before cancer took the stage.
I loved clothes, I loved shoes (oh how I loved shoes!), I loved the way I could play with clothes to present a certain style or persona. Dressing up each day was an expression of my creativity. Classic with an edge – the “j’ai ne sais quoi” effect.

A highlight of my life – other than marrying the love of my life – was getting a PhD. A deeply personal experience and highly demanding as many of you know. The first in both families ever, Michael was so proud. As was I.
Being highly sensitive I took much to heart. Yet it also meant I was empathetic and took on too much responsibility. I loved to tell stories, to make others laugh with a cheeky joke. I loved helping people achieve – supporting start ups a passion, drawing on my strategic business skills.
I met Michael after a bike accident when a woman drove into me when I was cycling. Buying a new bike, this magical man at Uncle Sam’s Bicycles showed me my options and let me try them – at one stage when I took my time trying one out – thinking I’d stolen a bike from him. Over the months we became firm friends. Others knew there was more to us, but we didn’t see it. Not then.

We so wanted the best for each other. I remember the moment it changed from friendship to love when he turned up on my doorstep at 1030 at night after my tearful call to him. He took me in his arms and said “now will you let me love you”, then drove me up to the Waitakere Ranges to talk, to tell me how he felt. Little did we know that many years later we would have a beautiful home there in the hills.

Michael is my soul mate. We have journeyed this life close, and gone far. I couldn’t ask for a more amazing companion who knew me better than I knew myself. I am blessed to share much of my life with such a special man. I delight in seeing him enter his next phase.

Work was not a highlight of my life. Always so much struggle. Yet, each role brought benefits. Best was being the senior trade manager for the British Consulate. All that networking, building relationships, learning about industries, people, knowledge, and the travel! – business class – even upgraded to first class often. Even if the job was damn boring.

Travel was important to me. Experiencing the world, the similarities, the differences.
Meeting people. Everywhere.
I made friends easily, in lifts, in queues. In cafes and restaurants. Relationships of all types were important to me. Deeply loyal, I cared deeply. Some would say I was a bright spark – with much to share – I always spoke too fast, my words trying to keep up with my brain, my thoughts.

Despite many great trips to the UK, a few to Europe and the US, a very special trip to Kyoto, it was Phuket where Michael and I laughed the most, drove through crazy traffic and greeted the locals with Sawasdee Ka – where we relaxed the most. And ate the most!
My early morning walks on an empty beach, with my Beloved man running across the sand to greet me, precious memories. Visiting Big Buddha, another. Being invited to be blessed by a Buddhist monk.

Being healthy and fit was part of my DNA. I loved to dance, to push myself – the crazy intense P90 X series in recent years that saw me nail pushups – even plyo pushups, pull-ups and free weights. Yoga and Qi Gong for more zen.

Deeply spiritual, my life’s journey was marked by eclectic exploration. From astrology, Wicca, Christianity and Buddhism – the latter bringing great solace, helping me come to terms with suffering of all kinds.

Know that I was complete in and with the end. I was at peace with What Is. I deeply accepted the path before me. I embraced – with reluctance at times – the learnings required. Cancer became my teacher, pain my ego-reducer.

Know that I will be around. Know that I’ll be watching and caring, listening and supporting. Know that I was and am happy.
Fern x